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Friday, July 17, 2009

Forward . . . March!

Progress with Ezequiel's adoption has been stellar the last couple of days! We have ALL of our required paperwork turned in to the agency and we wait for the last document . . . our homestudy from the social worker. In August, we have the three visits scheduled so the social worker can write his report. We have been through this process twice before but each time, it evokes many strange emotions. I wonder if the social worker will see what a great family we are . . . how much we treasure our children . . . how badly we want Ezequiel. I wonder if he will think our house is too small or our plate is too full with the four children we already have. All of these impressions are things over which I have no control. That is probably the heart of my worry. I like to be in charge. God is continuing to teach me the same lesson again and again . . . to trust and obey. It's a hard fight but I know that ultimately, He can do it all so much better than I ever could.
As soon as the homestudy is written, our dossier goes to The Philippines and then, God willing, a few months later we have our precious boy. I know we are at a distinct advantage in adopting a child with Down Syndrome as opposed to being surprised with a biological child with the same issue. We have a choice. We have lots of time to read up and prepare and understand his issues without the deep emotions pregnancy can draw to the surface. We didn't have hopes of a healthy child only to have those dreams shattered with a diagnosis and then rebuilt with adjusted expectations. We realize this. It has given me a heart for families with biologically related special needs kids that I can't say I ever had before. When I see a family with a SN child, I wonder about them . . .when did they find out? How did they take it? Do they still wish their child was average? Have they come to see the beauty in this child and declare they wouldn't change a thing? Those are questions I'll never have answers to but I wonder.

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