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Sunday, June 13, 2010

Run, Moses, Run . . .

Our pastor preached an especially poignant message today about the call of Moses. He read from Exodus 3 and 4 and I must admit, I thought I knew something about this passage but I had missed so much. When God called Moses to deliver the Israelites, did you realize that Moses offered myriad excuses about why he couldn't possibly do it?
Most people know that Moses used the old "but I'm not a good speaker" excuse but the story goes on. Moses went from "which God should I say sent me" (implying that there are so many deities in Egypt that nobody would respect Yahweh) to "what if they don't believe me". Moses worked very hard to wiggle out of the calling God placed on his life.
The sermon caused me to ponder just how many Christians God is calling to adopt who have more excuses than Moses. Do I believe every Christian is commanded to adopt children? Absolutely not. We are all members of one body with different functions but I DO believe many Christians are running as far and fast as they can from the notion of adoption and they are, in fact, being called.
Below is a list of reasons that we refuse our calling based on today's sermon:
1. Indifference (I just don't care enough)
2. Inability (I can't afford it, I'm too old, I'm too out of shape to travel)
3. Insecurity (What if the child doesn't like me or vise versa)
4. Inconvenience (My little world is just right and adopting could stir things up)

Our pastor closed the message with the parable of the Great Banquet found in Luke 14:12-14. It says "When you give a dinner or a banquet, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or your rich neighbors lest they also invite you over in return and you will be repaid. When you give a feast, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind and you will be blessed because they can not repay you. You will be repaid at the resurrection of the just."
This passage is about so much more than a dinner party. It's about doing the radical thing - extending love to the unlovely, giving to those who can not lift a finger to do anything in return. It's about being the hands and feet of Christ in a world that tells you loving YOURSELF is "the greatest love of all." It's about being broken, poured out, overworked, under appreciated and maybe even stepped on by the world around you but being cherished, treasured, lifted up, encouraged, cared for and rewarded by your Heavenly Father.
We only get one Earthly life . . . let's do this!!!!!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Go Away!

Life at the "Esquivel Compound" has finally settled into a wonderful summer "routine".
We are finished homeschooling until early August (except my sweet 8 year old who needs to do a little something each day to keep his phonics and math skills in check). The sprinkler is attached to the hose in the backyard and ready for the kids' daily "run through" and I have taken to making a gallon of sweet tea every two days as my teens drink it instead of water all day long (terrible, I know). We watch a movie together most evenings (the latest fine piece of cinematography being "Monsters vs Aliens") and
there are no lesson plans to write, papers to grade or co-ops to rush off to.
I am absolutely loving this time of year. It's hot and humid and practically every day is capped off by an evening thunderstorm or rain shower.
In spite of all the joy, I have little peace. I committed the cardinal sin of reading through Christian Adoption Service's latest list of waiting children. Those of you who know me at all know exactly where this post is headed . . . yes, I am hopelessly in love with a child on the list. I have his file. I know it by heart. He is older (almost 15) and had a very rough start in life. He is in a Christian orphanage, loves Jesus, plays music, sings and even has an "emo" haircut like my oldest son. He ages out in one year and will be unadoptable.
The Philippines has strict rules about adoptions. A family must wait one year between adoptions and Ezekiel has only been home three months. We can not even apply to adopt for about nine more months. Additionally, we can not afford another adoption right now and my husband is not on board at this point. In light of the disappointment regarding Ariel, maybe this is just backlash and simply a shadow in my mind but, I don't think so. I know this feeling well. It is the fourth time I have felt this way about a child. The first three times resulted in Kyle, Lemuel and Ezekiel - my hard won treasures from across the ocean. Once again, God will have to make a miracle but if He wants it to happen, He'll do it. If not, I pray this ache will go away. It hurts.