I am currently recovering from the most unpleasant illness I have EVER experienced in my life! I have strep throat. I don't just have the "regular" version, which is nasty enough. I have the kind of strep throat you get when you should have been on antibiotics for days and were too stubborn and busy to go to the doctor. For three solid days, my fever was rarely below 103! I took bath after bath and sat in the broiling sun to get warm on those days and even that wasn't sufficient to stop the chattering teeth and muscle aches. I can shine a flashlight down my throat while looking in the mirror and see scabs on my tonsils . . . okay, I'm venturing into "TMI" land (Too Much Information) aren't I?
Today is the first day I've left the house in 5 days and it was glorious! I almost broke into song in the isles of Wal Mart while deciding which style Hot Pocket my teens would like for their co-op lunches this week! I have a much greater understanding of human suffering. I know that sounds melodramatic but it's true! By day 3 of the fever, chills and stabbing pains with each swallow, I began to feel despondent. I prayed, begged and maybe even tried to bargain with God for some relief. He answered by slowly healing me through the wonders of Penicillin. I was praying for a "put your hand on the TV and repeat after me and you will be healed" type thing - no dice!
While lying in bed this week, I finished the book "Radical" by Dr. David Platt. It rocked my world! It convicted me about the pursuits of my heart and my lack of true brokenness for the lost. I felt very ashamed that, in light of our friend's financial issue, I was ready to throw in the towel on pursuing the adoption of Francis from The Philippines! I am weak and easily discouraged, I guess, but I want to be that young man's mother and I believe he was created to be in this family. If the funding for his adoption is not coming to us in one giant check with no effort on our part, does this mean we are free to walk away? Absolutely not! In light of all that God has done in bringing us 5 amazing children and the testimonies that come with each one, we can not assume that God has said "no" because one door has closed. With renewed health and renewed purpose, we are asking, once again, for more than we deserve - another miracle from the Lord. The Bible is clear that "you have not because you ask not". I am asking . . .no begging . . . for God to do another "radical" work in our lives and make a way for us to adopt this young man before he ages out of the system - time is short and so are funds but praise be to God, he controls them both!!