our work

Monday, January 30, 2012

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

I'm on it. Three of my teens are on it.
Hubby's there, too. My parents, siblings, extended family members and over 900 other "friends" share words of wisdom, funny animal clips, political rhetoric, prayer requests and sometimes off-color humor with me via a little wonder called "my news feed".

I am considering deleting my account.
I don't type this as some do, expecting throngs of people to beg me stay, stating how deeply they will miss me. I am really toying with the idea of saying "goodbye" to facebook forever.

And it's not because it's so time consuming.
It used to be but back when it was so time consuming, I was not willing to let it go.
I don't use it as often as I used to. It's getting kind of boring, actually, but that's not why I'm thinking of leaving.

I'm thinking of leaving because, as the presidential election draws near, I find myself getting truly angry at many of the hateful, ill-informed posts my "friends" are sharing about the candidates I support. I'm conservative. That draws fire.
I'm 100% pro-life (yes, in cases of rape and incest. . .YES! Two wrongs don't make a right, people!). I do not think homosexual Americans should be granted the right to legally marry each other. I don't think they should be bullied, harassed, mistreated, fired from jobs or scorned either. It is a slippery slope we should avoid.
But holding conservative beliefs and reading these statuses, updates and arguments is so very frustrating. I'm not interested in getting into a public political debate on facebook. And it's NOT because I can't hold my own. Ask anyone who knows me in real life. I'm not afraid to stand up for what I believe in. I'm NOT willing to go back and forth on Facebook to the tune of 200 comments in a thread.
It is the very definition of "fruitless".
But sometimes, I love my facebook. We have been prayed for and been able to pray for others. I have literally watched families formed through adoption via the window of facebook.
I get to see my California relatives and my siblings' kids anytime I want thanks to facebook.
I get to see if my high school friends look older than I do (ha ha) and if their kids are cuter than mine (not a chance!).
But I've also been remiss in "friending" people that are not really friends. I have had to get out my high school yearbook or troll through the "mutual friends" of other people to see if I even know them before accepting their friend requests.
It's not my high level of popularity. I think it's my memory!

Of course, I'm being a little facetious here but I am probably going to delete the account and not just say "I'm leaving" and then leave the account open to see who really cares (you know, kind of like that dream of attending your own funeral to see who cries . . . oh . . .that's not something everyone dreams? Never mind).I

I wonder, bloggy buddies, have any of you deleted facebook after being a long-time user? Did you get that edgy, itchy-under-the-skin feeling that accompanies giving up caffeine (or crack)?

Did you make your children delete, too? Since you aren't there to watch their interactions?

That's definitely a sticking point for me.
Maybe I'll stay . . .nah, I'll go . . oh, heck . . .I think I'll sleep on it.


Gotta go see if the cheerleading captain has gained weight lately!!!!!


  1. I won't say "don't go..." but I will say that I draw encouragement and insight from you quite frequently (blog and FB). I will just have to find other ways to learn from the master mama. You can leave the sharing of your blog on FB to the rest of us. ;) By the way, if the "noise" you hear on FB didn't bother you then you'd have a greater problem.

  2. I had the same issues.....so, I posted "I am deleting this account and creating a joint account with my husband, if you would like to friend me, find both of our names together." I deleted in 2 days and created a hubby/wife one. Reason was my daughter does have a fb and I do check hers, daily. Also, I wanted accountability to not be tempted to "hide" anything from him. He had people on his, that I didn't want on there and I'm sure I had people that he didn't approve of. I "friended" family and for the friends, they are church people (sans old high school friends), adoption people and people we truly care about. We don't have many "friends" but the ones we have are ones that don't post the crap, that ask for prayer and that I know I can turn to for prayer. I quit the games, everything....when people friend me, I ask him and if we don't want too....we deny their friendship *gasp* :) :)

    1. I like the joint account idea. It takes care of supervising the kids and eliminates some of the "stresses" . Now, to find the time to sit down and do it . . . Ha ha

    2. I worked wonders for us! I do use the "hide" button for the annoying game things that post on my page.

  3. You can delete or hide "friends" that you no longer want to read or associate with.If you hide them, you just wont see any of their posts.

  4. Nikki-I SO KNOW what you are saying. I have wrestled with it myself. For now, I have decided not to delete my account. FB can be a wonderful tool. I have however learned to delete "friends"...deny requests from toxic people...hide the comments from those people that I choose to remain friends with--for whatever reason (mainly relatives); with whom I greatly disagree on MANY issues. It has SHOCKED me about just how little I know about my "Christian" friends. With that said, I've also learned quite a bit about MYSELF!....how I represent myself to the world and how others view me. Scary stuff! I try to avoid any great debates, BUT SOMETIMES something MUST be said....even then, I try to just rationally (and prayerfully) state my case and WALK AWAY...either a person will get it or NOT...as one of my friends is fond of saying "I am NOT the Holy Spirit. It is His job to change minds/hearts." I can only speak the truth as I know it. I personally hope that you do not leave FB, but that is a choice that only you (and your family) can make.

    1. THAT'S the part that has me so torn up inside, you said it, Sammi, when you said "sometimes something MUST be said"... I often leave the computer feeling like I have turned a blind eye to things that needed to be tended to. I know I'm not the Holy Spirit but I often feel like, if nobody objects to some of the "garbage", the pile gets bigger and more foul.

  5. nikki, i have limited my FB to family and very close friends. it's my window into my grandkids world. it's a tool for ministry. i share about my life, my garden, and my orbit in this universe. i'd say stay off it for a few weeks and see how you feel about it before you totally delete. the amount of time you spend on it depends totally on you- but it seems a shame to me to not make use of this technological wizardry to do things for God. unless you are really called to a media fast, just trim it down, fast it for a short time, and then make a decision. ;)

    1. Yes D . .. that is my very struggle! It's had some wonderfully positive effects on my life and ministry, too. I like the notion of a hiatus!

  6. For the sake of my marriage, I deactivated my account for a few months late last year. It was wonderful! I needed a break, as for me it WAS consuming in all the wrong ways. Just like with chocolate, I have had to learn to use it in moderation. When Kevyn told me we could go back to FB, it was awesome. I didn't realize how much I used it for good things as well as not so good. So, you have to find the balance and if you can't, then deactivate. If you can, then stay! and hide people who run you the wrong way!