Green is Better Than Pink

My family just returned home from another Christmas celebration. We spent time with my parents, my brother and his family and saw my precious 90-year-old grandmother. It was wonderful. I returned home with a sigh when I remembered I hadn't cleaned the house before we left - back to reality!  I grabbed an enormous stack of mail from the mailbox and decided to sort it before cleaning and putting away the items from our trip.  Immediately an envelope from "US Immigration" caught my eye and made my heart pound! I grabbed the envelope and noticed the paper inside was GREEN and not PINK. A pink slip from USCIS is usually not good news. It's generally a request for more information or a reminder that you have somehow forgotten a needed document. This slip of paper was definitely green - good stuff! I quickly opened the envelope and discovered it was a notice of the upcoming appointment that my husband and I must keep to have our fingerprints renewed!! This is a nice big step in the adoption process and I immediately went from "mom who is grouchy about housework" to "adoptive mom who is getting closer to her new son."    It's curious how one little envelope can so greatly effect the mood!  I skipped over to write the date and time on our calendar and began to work on the chores with a renewed sense of purpose.
I've always said that orange is my favorite color but for now, I think I'm changing it to green!!!!!

Christmas Musings

Christmas was fantastic and, I must say, much more low key than in years past. My husbands mom, step dad, brother, aunt and a few friends came to Christmas Eve dinner, went to church with us and stayed to watch our children open gifts. It was relaxing and wonderful! My mother in law cooked lumpia and a traditional Filipino dish called "dinuguan" which has the nickname "chocolate meat" in English. It is so named because the base of the stew is blood which is boiled until it turns dark brown, almost black. Now, before my American friends get all skeeved out and decide you'll never eat Filipino food, let me just tell you. This dish is DELICIOUS!
It has none of the properties of blood: no metallic flavor, it doesn't coagulate, it doesn't look, smell or taste like blood at all. It has pork, beef and green chilies in it and all of my children eat it readily (except my daughter who would be vegetarian if it weren't for bacon).

 For those less adventurous among you, let me recommend my mother in law's lumpia instead:

 This plate of lumpia was gone long before we sat down to the meal. As my MIL was pulling these from the pot, family members were waiting in line to snatch one!  They are filled with meat and veggies and I make a sauce to go in the middle that contains vinegar, soy sauce and minced garlic.  Oh, I could polish off this plate all by myself if it weren't for that awesome smell drawing the children to come and ask for some!

      I pray you are all as blessed as I am to be surrounded by loved ones and celebrating the greatest gift even given to humankind - Jesus Christ! 
Now, it's off to "other Grandma's" house to do it all over again!!!!!!

The Birthday Boy

Yesterday my amazing little wonder, Ezekiel, turned three years old! We had a get together with his uncle and grandparents (on Daddy's side) and our own immediate family so as not to overwhelm him. Ezekiel is still a very shy child and too much excitement causes him to want to be held by mom or dad and bury his face in our necks!
We wanted to be sure he enjoyed his day so we kept the celebration small and low key.
It was so much fun! His favorite gift, by far, was a little plastic vacuum that makes noise! Ezekiel loves it when I vacuum. He is always one step behind me and reaching out to touch the handle each time I pull it back. He claps and jumps up and down when I turn it on. He is smitten! I was worried that a quiet little duplicate vacuum just wouldn't measure up but he was thrilled! He immediately set off to "vacuum" the entire downstairs while the family and guests laughed at him. He proceeded to move furniture in order to vacuum underneath and to pick up toys to make sure he didn't miss any hidden crumbs. That child is just delightful to watch! I had no idea how much he took in and observed on the nuances of such a mundane task as vacuuming.
If I could do one thing differently regarding his birthday, I would have searched high and low to find a vacuum his size that ACTUALLY works! I can tell he is going to be a great helper in the very near future!

The File Has Left The Building

I am pleased to announce that the big, yellow DHL truck arrived at our agency over a week ago to pick up our COMPLETED dossier and deliver it to the adoption board in The Philippines!!!! For some of you adoptive parents, that may sound like we are very early on in the process but our situation is a little different than many. Because we are adopting a waiting child, things work backward. We identified the child, asked for him to be placed on hold for us and then worked overtime to get that dossier completed.
As soon as that dossier arrives in The Philippines and is approved by the ICAB, our referral will be issued, accepted and then the wait for a visa/medical appointment begins. We are actually on the shorter end of the wait now. I have already requested an extension on one of our immigration documents and having that happen simultaneous with the referral being issued and accepted may save some time.
We have received additional donations from precious Christian friends and now have over $4400 of our adoption paid for!!!! We wait
prayerfully to hear feedback on our grant applications.
An early April travel date is still in sight if all goes as projected. We are SO eager to meet Francis and introduce him to his new life. The silliest things come to mind and get me all giddy like the idea of helping him set up his facebook account to keep in touch with friends from The Philippines, or taking him shoe shopping and seeing if I'll have to pretend to like what he chooses, or Anthony teaching him how to use the riding mower and soon, to drive a car (gulp)... small things that happen here with the other children and signify that we're family.
All my prayers for this adoption center around him having a smooth transition and knowing right away that he is loved and wanted. Because he is already 15, I know we'll have to be very purposeful in our bonding and willing to accept him for who he is - a teenager with his own set of ideas, likes and dislikes, preferences and preconceived notions. I pray that he'll be able to accept us as we are and find his place with us quickly. Above all, I pray that he'll get to know Jesus in a way
he never expected and grow in his faith. I can't wait to see it all unfold . . .

Yes and No

On the adoption front, all is quiet. Our file is in The Philippines and we are hoping for the official referral in the next week. If nothing arrives at our agency by December 16th, it will not happen until the new year. Believe it or not, I am perfectly fine with waiting. I have complete confidence in this process and I know that a slow down in one area can often be offset by surprisingly fast progress in another. On the fund raising front, all is quiet as well. We heard from the granting organization that was to review our application in December. They will now present us to their board in January. Again, OK by me. We have paid all we are required to pay up to this point (well over $4000) and we trust the Lord to provide for our needs in His own time.
A funny development is taking place in our home presently. Ezekiel, thanks to his dynamic speech and developmental therapists, has mastered the difference between and the uses for "yes" and "no". He nods his head "yes" and makes an adorable sound when presented with something he wants such as ice cream, a cartoon or a new toy. On the other hand, he shakes his head vigorously and makes a not-so-adorable sound to indicate "no". We are finding he is much fonder of "no" than he is of "yes". When he sees me coming toward him with a tissue to wipe his nose, the "nos" start to fly. When I say "it's time for night night", that head starts to shake for all he's worth! I have to confess that while toddlers saying "no" to their parents is not cute in any other situation, it is darn cute when Ezekiel does it!
I am so thrilled that he is using these words/gestures in the right context and he absolutely understands what he is saying. I am relieved that he can share his opinion and makes his needs known more easily. This is one of the many aspects of parenting I took for granted with my typically developing children. I have read the blogs of other parents of children with Down Syndrome and sometimes thought their celebrations of such small victories were a little over blown, a little sappy. I get it now! Boy, do I ever get it!

Final

"I never knew how much I wanted a baby with Down Syndrome until I adopted one."

Yesterday we received our finalization papers for Ezekiel's adoption in the mail!
A weight has been lifted that I didn't even realize I was carrying. The finalization paper is an official court document embossed with a couple of seals and containing lots of "legalese". I am no lawyer - not even a paralegal - but I can read and understand the words "adopted FOR LIFE" easily!!!! In the eyes of the court system, Ezekiel is what I already knew he was - mine forever. My mind goes back to just nine months ago when I sat in front of my computer screen pining away for the beautiful little boy in the picture. I wanted to feel his warmth, hear his voice and tuck him in... I wondered if it would ever happen. I believed God was showing me that it WOULD but I worried that I was projecting what I wanted and not clearly hearing God's voice (not audibly, of course). I sinned with my worry. I worried the money would not come in on time. I worried the plane would crash. I worried Ezekiel would reject us. I worried his heart disease would take him before we got to hold him. Even in my faithlessness, God was faithful. He always is. He always will be. I belong to Him and He is my precious Daddy. I am "adopted for LIFE."

The Power of Words

I have been so deeply challenged by a passage of scripture I read this week that I simply have to share it!

"I tell you, on the day of judgment, people will be held accountable for every idle word spoken. For by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36

EVERY idle word? I did a word study on "idle" and found the English word that most closely resembles the Greek here is the same as our word "careless" . . . ouch!
I LOVE words. I love to read them. I love to write them and I have certainly tossed them around carelessly. When I think about the idle words that I have uttered in just the past couple of days, I cringe. The notion that I will be held accountable for those words is just painful. I KNOW there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. We won't be eternally condemned for our idle words.The Bible is clear that if we belong to Christ, no one can take us from his hand (John 10:28-29) so the condemnation that our words can heap on us is not the same condemnation the lost will face at judgment but I have no doubt it will be painful, unpleasant and shame-making for us.
There's a hard-rock Christian band my older children listen to called "Flyleaf". They have a song based on this verse that gives me chills. It's called "In the Dark"
and you can listen to it at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b80-ce_cVc&feature=fvst (cut and paste into your browser window)
Lord, help me to utter words that justify and not words that condemn!

Insert Clilche Title Here And Read On

Much like writing a paragraph called "My Summer Vacation" upon returning to elementary school each fall is the post I am preparing to type. Any blogger worth her salt will have an entry on what she is thankful for today. Is is, after all, Thanksgiving! All facebook statuses that I have seen thus far today echo the same sentiment - mine included. I am SO very thankful for my walk with Christ, my family and the provisions we have. I am bursting with thankfulness at the prospect of being allowed to adopt Francis and I am eternally grateful for the living and active word of God that strengthens and challenges me each day. Those are things I would hope we are all thankful for daily. This year, Thanksgiving is a little different for our family and, although I blog unabashedly about all things adoption, I do seek to protect those inner most parts of my family from too much scrutiny. I am going to share the one thing I am most thankful for and please know that I have wrestled with sharing this for many reasons. Here it goes: our 12 year old adopted son has been spending time in a residential treatment center since early October. He came to us at 8 years old already significantly challenged by his early life experiences. We KNEW we were getting in deep with this guy just by reading his file but we also knew that when God calls, He equips so we pressed forward. I could fill novels with the approaches we've tried, the tears we've cried and the prayers we've prayed over him.
I could talk for hours about the ways we've mishandled this young man in his struggles and erred on the side of imparting justice when it should have been mercy.
This is my private little shame. For many years I have considered mothering my profession and have strived to do it with excellence. I also like to think that I know a thing or two about adoption and that our family could work wonders with even the most challenging case. THIS child has been used by God to humble me in ways I can not explain. Now that I've confessed the hard part, let me get to the THANKFULNESS . . . he is home for 5 days for Thanksgiving and I can see the amazing work that God is doing in him and in us. The bonds that have always felt tenuous are
strengthened! The child who once lacked the ability to articulate anything positive is laughing, smiling and the eye contact . . . it is 100% improved . . . there is a genuineness there that I have never seen in him before!!!!! All of these changes have been prayed for for years. For the first time since he came into our family, I have genuine belief that he is going to be "just fine." He has always belonged here, he has always been "mine" but there are parts of him that are so hard to reach. I was learning to settle for a mediocre, lackluster relationship with this child and, praise the name of Jesus, I now know that he is going to thrive in this family. I am eager for him to come home full time (in just a couple of months) and
take his rightful place as 3rd oldest, big brother, friend and most of all, son.
Of the many lessons this relationship teaches me, I am most thankful to be reminded that "God is not slow in keeping his promises as some would count slowness but he is PATIENT". The prayers for this child felt unanswered for years and yet, God was waiting for just the right time to show HIS power in our son's life. He made sure to do it in a place that we could not even begin to take credit for it . . . yes, there is much to be thankful for!!!!

The Bottom Line

Our Chick Fil A fund raiser continues to have a ripple effect and, as the "ripples" slow down, the final count is in. We were able to raise $730 from that one evening alone!!!!!!! I am so excited about this!!! Normally, I wouldn't be blabbering all over the internet about money-related issues. It would be pretty tacky under most circumstances but I'm choosing to be completely transparent on this blog for two reasons. First, I know there are families in the process of adoption fund raising reading this blog. I have been contacted by some. I want them to be encouraged by what works and warned off by reading what doesn't. Second (and maybe this should have been first), God has moved the hearts of folks to help our family and I want to make sure He gets the glory for every cent that has come in so far! I am unashamed to share with the readers that we don't have an extra $22,000 lying around because I want it to be known that God "pays for what He orders". Be encouraged! Our total donations to date are as follows:
Chip in $1270
First fund raiser $730
Private donations $1750
Total = $3750
We are also being considered for a grant by a large, reputable granting organization in December. We covet your prayers for that!
I have often fantasized that some generous benefactor would hear about our family and drop the whole sum into our hands anonymously! I have since come to understand that every donation, grant or fund raising event is an opportunity for Believers to do "good works that God has prepared for them to do" Ephesians 2:10. I also believe that our family having to work, fill out grant applications, fund raise and pray HARD are important parts of the bonding process for us. I can't remember the exact context or chapter but there is a Bible story where King David declares "I will not offer to the Lord my God that which costs me nothing." That certainly applies here.
How much more precious do we treat even the material items we had to work for as opposed to those just tossed at us for free? I realize Francis is a precious human life and not a "material item" so the analogy falls short but I think the point remains true. We value what is hard-won. Thank you, Jesus, that your ways are not my ways (if they were, we'd be on that plane with a fully funded adoption right now).
We wait. We trust. We lean wholly on Him.

Success!!

Give freely and spontaneously. Don't have a stingy heart. The way you handle matters like this triggers God's blessing in everything you do, in all your work and ventures." Deuteronomy 15:10 (MSG)
The scripture above came to my computer this morning from an online devotion I receive and it could not have been more timely . . .

Our Chick fil A fund raiser last night was an amazing success in so many ways!! We raised about $350 from the raffle portion of the event and have not yet heard the total from food purchases! We could not be more grateful to Steve Rumley,Jr. for opening his restaurant to us!
To all the friends from church, co-op, the Triangle Down Syndrome Network and the local homeschool online group who came out to support us . . . THANK YOU!!!!
I was blessed to meet several adoptive families who heard about us from various friends and came out just to support fellow adoptive parents.

I never fail to be humbled and awed all the way through an adoption. God's people really DO care about life and truly ARE willing to support one another - even a stranger - as I saw last night.

I have said this before and it seems so inadequate but, THANK YOU for your prayers, support and for helping us bring a new son into our home!!!! May God bless you immeasurably!!!!

Getting There . . . UPDATE

Our homestudy update visit is over and went well. I received emails from two of the organizations I applied to for grants letting us know we'll be considered for grants in December and most of our required paperwork has been sent to the agency . . . aaaaah . . . add that to the chip in donations and the $750 in private donations and I would say that things are moving along well. Every adoptive parent knows that this part of the process is the uphill climb. . . getting your dossier on the desk of the foreign country for matching. Once that happens, it becomes a "downhill slide". The process is officially "out of your hands" (as if it were ever IN our hands) and we wait on the US immigration service and the foreign entity to do their "thing". I am ready for the "downhill slide" because the "uphill" part is a lot of work but one thing I know about myself is that I lose my mind a little during the "downhill" part.
I have nothing to do related to the adoption except to pray and wait. I spend much of each day checking the clock and imaging what time it is in The Philippines and what Francis might be doing on a given day. I check the whether over there, the flight conditions and keep my eyes open for political unrest in the Pacific Islands. As pointless and "goofy" as those things sound (and they are!), they keep me tied to my new son. They remind me of the adventure we're about to take and they keep me prayerful.
That's the update today. I am looking forward to posting that we have the official match in just a few weeks!!!!!!!