Today is my 51st birthday. Every time I think about my age, I'm overcome by God's goodness in my life. I can hardly believe how kindly He has dealt with me, despite my colossal failures and outright rebellion to His gestures of love.
I can still remember so clearly the FIRST time I truly grasped that the Christian life was not about ME.
It was life changing.
I was in college and was at the wedding of an acquaintance. The ceremony was well underway and
the bride took the mic and sang a song. But it was NOT a mushy love song. It was the
90s worship song that said:
"It's all about you, Jesus.
And all this is for you.
For your glory and your fame.
It's not about me, as if you should do things my way.
You alone are God and I surrender."
The bride and groom then turned to the audience and said "Please stand up and join us in a time of worship and praise to our Great God".
We sang 5 or 6 songs and not ONE of them was about marriage or human love. Every song was a praise to God simply for who He is. I could not stop the tears, long after the worship ended. The realization that I had always treated God as if He was preoccupied with ME just so raw and real. My world had been upside down and I was the main character in a saga that was never ever supposed to have been about me.
Shortly thereafter, I read "Desiring God" by John Piper. And I learned why that wedding hit me like a ton of bricks and shifted the paradigm in a radical way. Because God is the ONLY one who has the right to be "all about Himself". I learned that "the chief end of man is glorify God and enjoy Him forever".
And it truly is.
That started me on a journey of love and a relationship with Jesus that made saying "not my will, but yours" not just easier but a joy. He can be trusted. Not because His will means we are going to be happy, physically healthy, wealthy or beautiful but because HIS will brings HIM glory. That's it.
Will I lose a child?A family member? Be diagnosed with a terminal illness? Be betrayed by loved ones? Be poor?
Maybe. If He sees fit to allow those pains into my life. Will those things bring Him glory?
If so, not my will but HIS be done.
So, on this 51st birthday, I just wanted to take a moment to say that God is good. Always. In every season. Hardships and suffering are part of our humanity. We live in a temporarily-broken world that awaits His return. Hardships and suffering are tools in the hand of our loving Father to make HIS name great.
And in return for submitting to His will, we receive that peace that passes understanding. We can say, in all honesty "It is well with my soul". No matter what.
Thank you, Jesus, for 51 years of life. The bitter, sweet, painful and joyful are yours.
All this is for YOU.
Be glorified~!
For HIS Fame,
Nikki
