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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Broken and Spilled Out

I just finished posting a story on my facebook account that has absolutely devastated me.  A Latvian teenager named Davids was set to be adopted by an American family he met on a hosting program. The family committed to him and he was elated! The family ended up changing their minds about this young man leaving him with only TWO WEEKS until he ages out and is no longer adoptable!  (You can read the story and see pictures of this handsome young man at:  
http://www.givenmuchmom.com/
Get a tissue and prepare to have your heart broken!  Please join me in praying for a family for Davids.

As a family who has committed to a child ready to "age out", I can not imagine what series of events led the family to pull out of this adoption.  I don't stand in judgment of the adoptive family, I'm sure it was a painful decision but the article on the blog I linked above states that the family changed their minds in favor of adopting a girl they had met earlier than Davids. Now they had already told Davids he had a family! The family had begun the process.   I am going to ask a very cynical question that may anger some readers.   WHY SO MANY GIRLS?  If you ask any adoption professional, they will tell you that girls are preferred over boys by a HUGE margin the adoptive world. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter. I know that it's a privilege to mother a daughter but when a story like this comes to light, it just makes me wonder why the preference for girls is so strong.  Yes, orphaned girls need homes, too. I know this but boys wait exponentially longer than girls to find a family in almost every country (other than China) and I am utterly confused by this.  I am asking the question in earnest, not in a rhetorical way that is loaded with
accusation.  I really DO want to know why girls seem to be in such high demand?
Bride of Christ, let me ask you this:  if we took on multitudes of orphaned young men and helped shape and guide them into productive, woman-protecting, responsible, law-abiding followers of Christ, can you imagine what the world would look like?   Instead, the orphaned and unadopted young men often become criminals, prostitutes, abusers and soul-wounders to those in their paths.  The rate of suicide among unadopted orphans has been estimated at 10%-38% depending on the country they live in and the rate for unadopted males is double that of unadopted females (according to several online sources I will link to in my next post). 
By all means, if God  is leading you to rescue little girls, do it!  But please consider, if you are praying about adoption, not letting fear keep you from a deserving young man.  Not all boys molest. Not all boys are violent.  Not all boys rebel. Some do.   So do girls.  In short,  ask God to show you where the greatest need lies and to help you lay down your fantasies about adoption. Ask Him to lead you to a child that needs YOU rather than to give you a child that fits perfectly into the age or gender "hole" in your family. 
I am sure this post is going to prompt some readers to ask for their donations to be returned (ha ha) but I hope not!  If just one little boy can wait just a little less because ONE adoptive family set aside their fear, I consider it worthwhile and a tribute to boys like Davids and my Francis, who waited too long.

2 comments:

  1. I wish I had an answer for you, but unfortunately I don't. I heard about Davids this morning and have been thinking about him all day. My heart is just breaking for him!

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  2. It makes me sad that boys wait longer than girls. We have a son and daughter and love them both so much. Our little boy we adopted at age 5 1/2 has so a loving heart.

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