I am not a person who is given to depression. I am thankful for this fact as I have dear Believing friends who struggle mightily to keep a positive perspective and I have seen first hand how relentlessly feeling "down" can take it's toll on a person and all those around her. The last few days, though, I have struggled. Combine the post-holiday blues with the fact that our adoption process is slowing down (waiting on an updated psyche evaluation on Francis before we can have his legal documents to file for immigration) and then add in the realization that we still have plenty of work to do for said adoption and, I'm overwhelmed. How do I know I'm overwhelmed? Because yesterday I made banana bread and when I went to serve it, I noticed there were toast crumbs in the butter and I started to cry!!!Does that not rank among the dumbest reasons to cry you've ever heard of?? I am living proof that adoption and pregnancy have an almost identical effect on the human psyche.
Somebody come and study me!!
In any case, today is a bright, new day and I am awash with gratefulness. In the words of one of my precious facebook friends, I am CHOOSING to be grateful. I made a mental list of my blessings and have resolved to count them anytime I feel my throat constricting and eyes welling over something as painful as crumb-laden butter! I thanked my Heavenly Father for who He is, what He has done and all He has given me before my feet hit the floor this morning and what a difference that mindset makes!
I hope that I am not the only person who has "lost it" over minutia. I KNOW I'm not the only person who has discovered that the key to "getting my heart right" is counting my blessings.
We attend a church that relies on contemporary music for worship time and I really do love it but the old hymn of my childhood "Count Your Blessings" has been my song of choice today. I love the verse that says:
When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
when you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
count your many blessings-name them one by one,
and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
I couldn't have said it better myself! Let's get counting . . .
Still Counting . . .