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Saturday, May 28, 2011

Blushing Under the Bag on My Head

Soooo . . . my previous post contains what I hope to be my one-and-only, official public freak out of this whole adoption.  That. Was. Rough.    I allowed so many worries to take up residence in my heart and mind that I'm pretty sure they had children and grandchildren in my frontal lobe!   I would like to say that it was simply prayer and Bible reading that calmed my fears and put my heart back on track but, truth be told, it was a little skype time with our new son that did the trick.    What I failed to mention in  my "worry wart" post was that we had missed a couple of skypes.  I don' know how or why (we still didn't get to the bottom of what time we were each sitting at the computer but it was clearly NOT the same time - ha ha) but that started me on a worry binge that lasted waaay too long.   The Enemy capitalized on niggling fears that were already present and I practically rolled out the red carpet for him!
I actually considered going back and erasing my previous post because, well . . let's face it . . it's not exactly in line with the person I want to be . .. but I decided not to.  I decided that being real is far more important than saving face so, there you have it.   I tried SO hard to pray my way through the worry and, for brief snatches of time, it helped. Sadly, the only REAL remedy to my fear was a tangible face to face conversation.  I know there will come a day when just God's promises in His word are enough for me.  I long for that day.
I'm just not there yet . . .

Psalm 145:13
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and your dominion endures through all generations. The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises and faithful in all he does.

1 comment:

  1. I for one, appreciated your "realness."

    I am sure there are very few of us, if any, that could say we are there yet. :)

    It is times like those that you shared, that bring us closer to that place!

    Thanks for sharing!