Finding an alternate placement for our struggling son has been put on hold.
Are we still tired? Yes
Are we still weary and battle worn? Absolutely!
Is this spiritual warfare? Sure. Of the most difficult type.
My post about "Hating Holland" was written after a particularly rough stretch with this child. A cluster of lying and sneaking coupled with some other issues and topped off with the "cherry" of my own need to depend more fully on God for my "daily bread".
I'm just human and
The Enemy is sneaky and cruel.
1 Peter 5:8
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."
His aim is destruction and his target is any Believer that might make an impact for the kingdom of God.
I want our home to scare him.
I want our family to be a "healing place" for wounded children.
In order for that to happen, I must be on guard or BE ALERT as 1 Peter says.
Being alert, for me involves:
Starting each day with prayer and asking the Lord to let me see the schemes of the enemy for what they are
Keeping my thoughts in check and not allowing them to get into a negative cycle toward this particular child, or anyone in my home
Having our calling and vision in the forefront of my mind as I tackle each day
Our calling. Our vision.
To minister to the fatherless in the most direct way possible. To take the steps needed for them to NOT be fatherless. To make a lasting commitment to children who have not known permanency.
It's so difficult sometimes.
It's so joyous at other times.
Just when the "difficult" seems too much to handle, the "joyous" often peeks in and reminds us why we love this calling. Why we have run headlong to embrace it four times over. Why I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Yes, I would.
I would gladly receive another child into this family if that is what God has planned for us.
I have to trust that my Sovereign Father, who does all things for our good and His own glory will never lead our family into harm's way.
But sometimes I wander there on my own. And He lovingly draws me back, sometimes through painful correction and other times through gentle nudges.
I prefer the nudges.
This month I have endured some painful correction.
Make this home a healing place.
Let light and life fill it.
May every child who enters here know he is loved and wanted.
May each person feel accepted and adored.
Let us be YOUR hands and feet to guide, correct, shape and comfort those
entrusted to us.
And let us not grow weary in doing good.
For YOUR Great Fame,