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Friday, February 24, 2012

Cautious Corner Turning

Something around this house has changed. Tangibly. For the better.
Our most difficult child, Lem, has been Mr. Not-One-Bit-Difficult for more than two weeks now! This is the longest stretch he has been able to maintain positive behavior, attitude and interactions EVER! While I am praising the Lord, I am guardedly optimistic. I know as a Believer in Christ, being superstitious is not God honoring however, I have blogged, written and talked about how far Lem has come in the past and then, a few days later, been on my knees in my room crying and begging the Lord to let me out of this whole deal. . . but I believe some lasting changes have taken place. I am seeing new things. Good things.

Maturity is FINALLY popping up from it's rabbit hole from time to time. Our once EXTREMELY emotionally delayed child is talking, behaving and pursuing interests that are much closer to his chronological age! He has put himself on hiatus from those video games that were once such a source of joy, stress and obsession for him. Certainly, we could have eliminated those from his life completely at anytime, we are the parents, but we chose to give him a schedule for their use instead. He has shaved that schedule down to almost nothing and when he does play the games, it is for a much shorter duration with NO REAL TEARS or anger when his character loses. This is something GREAT!

He has chosen to participate with the family in pretty much everything we have done for more than two weeks now! Likewise, he has been coming to me for a hug every morning and every night. And three nights ago, when he hugged me at bedtime, he started to cry. Just a little. When I asked him why, he could not articulate the reasons. He said he was happy. That was good enough. I get it, sweetheart, I really do. I cry happy often.

Is he "cured" of his Reactive Attachment Disorder? Well, according to every web site, book and therapist I have encountered, there is no cure for RAD. Does he even have RAD? Is RAD real? Did God heal him? Will I be blogging my sorrows about his new-found reprehensible behaviors any day now? Can I trust two weeks to mean anything at all?

I don't have one single answer to any of those questions.

All I know is that in June, he will have been my son for six years and these last two weeks or so have been the best time period in that entire span. The best!

I believe the prayers of other Believers coupled with maturity on his part and not giving up on our part are starting to glimmer like pay dirt! And I happy cry as I type because I didn't know if I ever WOULD get to type this. I had to learn to be okay with that, I believe, before things could improve. Stop mourning the "whys" and "what ifs" and accept the "IS".

I only needed to give thanks publicly on this blog, to my Heavenly Father who does so much more than we "ask or imagine" (Eph. 3:20) and to share this with those who are struggling with their RADishes... I know life will never be "perfect" this side of Heaven and that two weeks is such a short time but it happened! I never thought it would and it did! All I can do is praise . ..!!!!


  1. Happy tears next door. Will keep praying.

  2. Nikki, two weeks is fantastic! You know I've been praying for you and will continue. Our God is capable of so much change. Holding on the hope that this is a more long-term change.

  3. I believe in a Healer God. I believe He is working in Lem's life. I pray right now that He continues to put His touch on Lem's heart and mind. SOOOOO very happy for you, my friend!!!!

  4. Even if Lem does return to the "Lem of Old" he is showing glimpses of being able to sustain longer periods of "healthy normality". This in of itself is a miracle and a praise and you are so wise to praise our wonderful Lord for this! Even if you question this at times, I know with all my heart, Lem is receiving all that he needs under your roof and love. Thank you for being such a testimony of honesty about your journey with Lem and being so loyal to him when it was so hard. This has meant so much to me.

    By the way, I do have to comment on your little guy's expression. Let's put it this way; the look screams "Why am I here? and Who cut the cheese?"

  5. Yay!!!! Gotta agree with Thea on her comments. Continuing to lift your family in prayer on an almost daily basis. So exciting to see more good and less of the other!

  6. great news! perhaps two weeks forward, one week back...it's all good....even regression is progress because it's part of the cycle...i'm pretty sure if RAD could be cured, it's gonna be cured in your house first! blessings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!