I am struggling. There's no other way to say it. That niggling feeling that someone is missing in our family is now taking on a life of it's own. I can look back on this very blog and read the posts prior to Ezekiel's adoption and see this same phenomenon but it seems worse this time. It is worse. I think a few factors are contributing to the angst. First, our agency director is leaving for a visit to The Philippines in just a few days. He is taking a photo album with him that will, hopefully, find it's way to Francis VERY soon. I am coming to grips with the realization that it's time for Francis to learn that he has a family. The ICAB is cautious about how and when children receive this information. They and the orphanage staff don't want to run the risk of telling a child too soon and having circumstances change. I am glad they operate this way but I am on pins and needles waiting to hear how Francis will react, at 15 years old, to finding out he has a family. IT IS STRESSFUL to wait for this news.
He could decide he doesn't want to make this monumental life change and the process would come to a halt.