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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mish Mash

In my almost three years as a blogger,  I have fallen silent on my blog only a few times.

Generally, that happens for two reasons. Either I am dealing with an unusually intense family change (an adoption, most often) or I am in a dismal mood and trying not to cyber discourage anyone.

 This most recent silence is due to a little bit of both.

If you've been hanging with us here for any length of time, you'll know that we've been working to sell our home and relocate full-time to The Philippines in service of visually-impaired orphans.



We just received an offer on our home!

That is a huge praise but with that offer comes additional stresses . . . inspections, negotiations, punch lists, concessions, polybutylene pipes and septic tank talk . . .  hard stuff.

 And, of course, while we seek to serve, the Enemy attacks at every turn. . . annoyances, squabbles,
frustration, insomnia and LIES, LIES, LIES . . .

"You are making the  biggest mistake of your lives. Damaging your children. Leaving 'the good life' for a life of poverty and illness"

But I heard all those lines before in one variation or another.  We are adoptive parents, you know.
So we say "bring it on" . . . not sure if we're being brazen out of faith or foolishness. I guess we'll know soon enough.

So that speaks to the "moody" part of the silence but here is the "busy" part. The part I love.

Homeschooling Lem again.


 Back at my kitchen table again where he belongs.


It makes me busy but it also makes me so very happy.

And, of course, the boys who have been here keeping me teaching are still doing just that . . .
Only daughter handles all of her own schooling at this stage of the game. At night, I grade and in the day, she corrects, reads, learns and reads some more.

Oldest son is working extra hours at his YMCA job and just opened his first mutual fund! We are
proud of the man he is becoming.  Almost ready to "do life" as a grown up.
Weirds me out.   I still remember diapers and training wheels.

But such is life.


In this midst of all the changes and planning, I feel myself pulling back from relationships that are not coming with me.  That's not a good practice.   One would expect to be milking those bonds for all they are worth as they will soon be separated by 8,000 miles.  But instead, I hole up and am slow to answer emails or phone calls.  So, forgive me.

Maybe it's the "Navy Brat" coming out to look after the tender parts.

Because sometimes I think about NOT being here and NOT having these people and I feel a little
panicky.  I have taken for granted so much and so many.  Yes, probably you.

So vetting out what is "normal" and what is "enemy" and what is "hormones" and what is "exhaustion" to put all these things into perspective is proving to be less-than-simple.

And I'm not going to try anymore.

I AM going to keep my heart focused on two things.  TRUSTING and OBEYING.

Jesus said "no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God".

So let me look forward.  Always hopeful. Ever pressing on. Silencing the doubts with
what I know to be true.

For you, my friends, encouragers, prayer partners, supporters and fellow laborers. I am
eternally grateful.   Please stay.   And pray.

And I will do the same for you.

For HIS Great Fame,
Nikki










4 comments:

  1. nikki, it's ok. it's all part of the process. leaving is hard. but remember that while some are saying, "there they go!"...we are saying "here they come!" i know exactly how you feel. and it's normal.

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  2. God has you all in the palm of His hand he knows your fears, concerns and He understands thanks for being so open He will guide and take care of everything every detail of all of your lives just keep your eyes fixed on Him and listen to that still small voice that has lead you thus far love you Nikki and am praying for this awesome journey that you and your family are on. Love you Ruthie Keegan

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  3. Much love and prayers to your family in this transition.

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  4. Transitions are difficult, but you'll soon find yourselves on the other side. Everyone has an "opinion" but what matters is what God has shown you and Anthony. Your children will thrive in your love (and God's love) regardless of where they live in the world. You've heard "the call" and are responding in obedience, trusting that God is going before you.

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