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Saturday, June 15, 2013

This Day

This day has been my second hardest since we said "yes" to The Call to abandon this life and move to The Philippines for His name.

We had our big yard sale.  The same precious friends who have been FOR us for so long came out. They visited and encouraged
and bought things they may not have even needed just to help us on our way. They brought food and our children played.

And my six kids  put their belongings into the yard sale.  That is where my heartbreak begins.  Their toys, books, mementos.
Things I know they would have kept if we were staying.

The tiny "tee" that my now-18-year- old used to hit a ball from when he was just three.

The art supplies my only daughter used to create some beautiful works.

Their bikes and balls and skateboards. 

The electric wok I took from my grandmother's house after she passed away because she was so "practical" and I knew she would
like me to cook for my family on it while not heating the whole house with the oven in summer.

Hundreds of books lovingly read to my kids over these years.  Homeschool curriculum they used to learn to read, add, tell time
and get to know Jesus better.

Gifts from my parents to their grandchildren. 

That little black car that was my husband's "dream car" for our whole marriage.  It sits with a FOR SALE sign on the windshield.

Most of our items are now gone to the homes of others, or to Goodwill.  I know it's just "stuff" but it was MY stuff and it represented a life lived in the safety and comfort of our home. Among friends.  Belonging.

I expected to be relieved today because so much of that "stuff"  just  fetters us and is gone.

But I'm struggling with some sadness.

And for the life of me, I can't figure out why anyone would choose this path if HE was not the real thing.
If the God who created us to be HIS hands and feet to hurting children was not the One True God, there is
no way I would go through this. Or put my children through it.

But He is.

And His Followers are "plan A" when it comes to touching the fatherless and extending love to them.

There is NO PLAN "B".   

Certainly God could, with just a mere thought, set this world right and make every orphan a son or daughter.  And He will
when the time is right.
But for now, as He draws hearts to Himself, one at a time,  we are His hands and feet. 

So I want  to thank my children for giving those things up so willingly.  Not a complaint has surfaced from my brood except for the leaving behind of the people they love. I'm right there with them on that one!

Part of me wants to yell "THIS HAD BETTER BE WORTH IT!!!!!!!"
Not the right attitude, I fear.  Just the truth in my mind today.

To  Aaron, Francis, Elliana, Lem, Kyle and Ezekiel - you could have all made following The Call so much harder.
Thank you for trusting your parents.   Thank you for following our calling, even if you have not heard it specifically as
your own.  I look forward to serving beside you and watching how you grow in your faith as we work.
I love you all.

-Mom-


2 comments:

  1. Be encouraged...I heard one of your sons gently encouraging the other to sell an airsoft gun. They GET IT! And , your things are still loved...just part of a new story. My kids have played all day on the skateboards. The books are awesome and will now be used to homeschool my children. And everytime I look at the picture frames, I will remember to pray for your dear family who is walking exactly where the Lord will have you. Love to you all!

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  2. Oh I wish I had known about your yard sale. I actually just got back from PA where I had to help my mom sort through 50yrs worth of memories as she is getting ready to downsize to a townhouse. Not an easy task as you are both taking paths away from the comfort and knowns of your entire lives. Your kids are amazing! Have you sold your house? Did I miss that post? Anyway, we DEFINITELY need that one last RR reunion at Macaroni Grill before the Esquivels set sail!!! Love you dear friend in Christ!

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