HE'S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!

The title I wanted so so very badly to be able to share for my next blog post is, in fact, the title of THIS blog post!  Arjay is back at Mercy House!  I know some of you precious readers prayed with us for this very thing. For you, I am abundantly grateful.

And here is how it all went down . . .
Three nights ago, I received an urgent text from Arjay's father.  He lives and works far from the rest of the family and his text was begging us to go pick up Arjay from the family home and bring him into Mercy House. Arjay had been fighting with his mother, calling her awful names, pushing her in the heat of anger and threatening the other children in the family.
The mother packed up four of her other children and left the home, leaving Arjay there alone.

We texted the mother and father back and forth and agreed to go  and counsel with Arjay.  We informed the parents that we are not a jail and if he refuses to come into shelter, we will leave him right where we found him. We don't "snatch" kids off the street. Ever.

The following day, my social worker went to the home and nobody was there. She searched the "normal" places the street kids congregate and, no Arjay.  So she came back feeling a little defeated.

Today, we decided to go together back to the family home and have one last counseling session with Arjay if we could find him and with his mother if we could not. After that, his case would be closed for us unless the city task force rounded him up and called us to fetch him.

As we got nearer to the shanty where Arjay's family lives, we could see it was empty.  But right out front stood Arjay!!!! He came running when we called him. He was absolutely filthy.
He told us he has been sleeping in the back of a truck at the gas station because he's scared to be home alone and he's been parking cars for money in the evenings.

Until last night.

He got into an argument with an older street boy last night and that boy tried to stab him!  Arjay ran, terrified, to the Barangay Hall and they took a report from him.  They also informed him that if he continues to live as a street child, he will eventually be killed or jailed.

And then we came . . .

We knew from the look of him that he has not been faring well. He is covered in infected bug bites. He has lost weight. He is much more subdued than we have ever seen him.
But sitting in the back of our white "Mercy House" truck, he confessed that he misses all of us and he really and truly wants to come back. 

That's all we needed to hear!

He shared with us that he had not eaten in awhile and we took him right to McDonald's. After eating, we brought him back to Mercy House with us.
We counseled with all of the kids, reminding them that everyone needs second chances.

And now, he's here.
We have no idea what the Lord will have us do and for how long but we are praying for clear guidance and that we will be able to serve this child in every way that he needs.

What a privilege to get to pick up where we left off.
What a gift!

Don't stop praying for this boy. When God puts a child this heavily on our hearts and troubles us about him long after he's gone, we can be pretty sure that he has a BIG purpose.

So, it is with GREAT joy, gratitude to the Lord, and a little bit of "pinching myself" that I type these words just one more time . . . HE'S BACK!

He cleans up well

Peace, Be Still

I am sitting alone in a dark house at 4:25am Philippine time.

The remnants of Typhoon Yolanda are blowing outside and that wind is something to hear!
Our windows are all closed and latched and yet the curtains are fluttering.  If I did not know we were in a typhoon, I would just assume we lived by the train tracks.

This storm is not just "fresh in my mind".  It's still here.

 And I certainly don't want to use a national tragedy like this and make it all about "me".  There has been loss of life. There are going to be more homeless people as the sun rises than our developing country can serve.  Those things tear at the seams of my heart because I love this place and the people here.

But I was given a glimpse at a peace I have scarcely known, as this storm howled.

Like most of you, my faith has never truly had to carry me through threat of physical harm.
Sure, I don't like flying so I FEEL like I'm in harm's way every time I board an aircraft. I have to pray and rest in the sovereignty of God, but that has more to do with my own deep-seated fears than any probability of harm, real or imagined.

This storm has been real.  There is possibility of harm coming to me or, worse, my precious family.

But there is peace . . .

As I sat on my bed with two of my children and listened to the ruckus outside my window, my conscious mind thought "this is scary stuff" but the deep heart in me felt cradled and altogether peaceful.

I pondered that paradox while it was taking place and thought . . .
THIS IS THAT PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING!!!!!!

And it was. It is.
It is a familiar sense that I can only recall having a few times in my life.

It came when I began to go into labor with my children.  Each time.
 Engulfing fear swallowed by "I feel wrapped in a warm blanket".

It came while I sat by my precious son's hospital bed, watching him struggle to breathe and seeing the treatments fail to open his airways.
 Sheer terror with an underlying "God has got this."

It is more than just ignorance of the threat. It goes beyond feeling bulletproof.

There really IS a peace that defies understanding.  It is an illogical peace that, given the circumstances, should not be there.

It is where my humanity gives way to His sovereignty and it is a blissful place.

And although He does not "owe" me anything and need not "perform" to reassure me, this kind of peace removes any doubt that He is the real deal.

The genuine article.

The ONLY wise God.  The one in whom I can always put my trust.

The lyrics of an old k-love song say it best:
"Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child" . . .
I don't even remember the rest of the song.

 

Letting Go . . . He's Already God

I always found the phrase "Let Go and Let God" to be the worst kind of cliche. It sounds great on a bumper sticker but upon closer analysis, it is just plain old rotten theology.  Who am I to "LET" God do or be or accomplish or change anything. He's God.  His word says His plans can not be thwarted.   I don't "allow" him to do anything.  I can simply be used in His plans or sit idly by while He uses others to accomplish the things He was going to do all along.

With our without me.

The phrase might more accurately be stated "Get on Board or Get Out of the Way"   or "Go Big Or Go Home".

In the case of our 15 year old son, Lem and his biological brother, Ariel, we decided to "Get On Board".

If you are my friend on facebook, you've already had a condensed version of the events that brought Ariel in to our family. In fact, just YESTERDAY we were able to pick him up from Children's Garden and bring him  into our home.   I still can't believe he slept here last night, in his bunk bed.  His clothes are in the closet next to Lem's.  He and I had coffee and pan de sal (bread) together for breakfast and I still feel like I'm dreaming.   I am the mother of seven.  Six sons.  I don't mean to get hung up on the numbers but "more than we ask or imagine" is part of the verse that comes to mind.

 

Ariel (white shirt, gray hat) with Lem (purple), Kyle (maroon), Pastor Buddy (black jacket) and three current residents of Children's Garden

Ariel and Lem outside Children's Garden

My amazing sister in Christ, Sharon, saying goodbye to Ariel

In the midst of bringing Ariel home, Aaron and Elliana were invited to stay at Children's Garden for four days and participate in their street outreach program.  They readily accepted that offer and are there right now. I'm so grateful this chance came up for them.

Aaron and Elliana at Children's Garden, right where we left them . . . ha ha

We picked up our dog, Asia, from  a missionary family leaving the field yesterday, too. She's a yellow lab, 3 years old, with a sweet disposition.  I sure have missed having a dog around the house, although I haven't missed the shedding and she sure does shed!

Update on James, out gate guard:
If you're not a FB friend or haven't seen my recent post, our gate guard, James, shot himself in the foot and leg by accident last night.  He is of the Muslim faith and from Mindanao. He's a very handsome, dark skinned young man with a wife in Manila. He lives and works here to provide for her.  Anthony, Lem, Ariel and Francis went to the hospital to visit James as soon as we heard the news. He was standing outside the hospital, in pain, waiting for someone to help pay his bill so he could leave.   Anthony felt led to help out and then to take him to the pharmacy to get his medication.
We know we can not attend to every need that comes to our attention but we also know that without meeting FELT needs, we have no right to speak into people's lives.   That's just how it works.

James 2
What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith and I have works.

James, our Gate Guard (far left, black shirt) with Lem and Ariel

No, I don't believe good deeds save us but they are outpouring of genuine faith.  If James doesn't see us as people who are genuine in our faith, why on Earth would he ever be attracted to it?

In the midst of all this change and busyness, our precious Kyle turned twelve years old today.  We are off to the movies to celebrate.
Last night, we had cake and he woke up to a skype session with his best friends from North Carolina!  What a day already!!!

Thank you, brothers and sisters in Christ.  Your praying and giving are already enabling us to serve in ways we really hadn't anticipated but are so thankful for.   I have never been this humbled.

What a privilege! 

The "Salty" Ones

The family living next door to us
 A friend recovering from a major surgery
 A fellow homeschool mom
An adoptive Mama with whom I've shared many heart to heart conversations about the trials and joys of older child adoption
A woman I've never met who lives in California
A couple of blog readers who don't know my last name
An adoption agency professional who is probably busier than I have ever been
A man who quit a lucrative job to serve the poor in a country in which he was not born
A pretty young, single woman who has dedicated her life to serving young men with difficult pasts
Some members of my own extended family

These are people I call "The Salty Ones" . . .

And for good reason.

On Friday morning as I sat in the waiting room of the oral surgeon's office waiting for my son, Lem, to have his wisdom teeth removed, a troubling message popped up on my ipad:
                              "Hi,need an urgent prayer request:Ariel is in a
                               hospital right now for a possible operation immediately
                               for a bone fracture . . . bone pierced the skin . . . lot of blood"

You get the idea.  If you've been a friend in real life or a bloggy friend, you might remember who
Ariel is to us.  He is the biological brother of our son Lem.  He was not adopted as a child and remains in the capable, loving hands of Believers who run an after care program for street boys.
But since he was fifteen years old and I first learned about him, he has been a "child of my heart".
I have spent much time and energy devising a way to bring him into our home when no legal path seemed to exist.  I have blogged about him often,  in posts like this: http://bringinghomezeke.blogspot.com/2012/12/i-have-wanted-so-badly-to-share-all.html
and many others.

As days went by and Ariel's injury showed itself to be more complicated than a simple "set and cast" break, the expenses for his care began to mount.

Some of you may not know that, in The Philippines, if you don't have the cash money to pay for your medical care, you don't get medical care.  I am not willing to cast aspersions on the way things work over there. It is clearly a necessity that every person needing care not be treated for free or hospitals would go broke. As in every country, the poor suffer greatly when illness and injury show their ugly faces.


And here is where "The Salty Ones" came in . . .

I posted a plea on Facebook for anyone willing to help pay for this surgery and hospital stay.
And THOSE people . . . the ones in the list I wrote to open this post, they gave and gave and gave.
They gave despite their own bills and commitments.
They gave to a young man they have never met.
They gave generously and quickly (within an hour of my facebook post)
and some even checked back to see if more help was needed.
They gave because of all that Jesus gave to them.

They gave because they are salt and light . . .

And don't think for one moment that the kind of radical, selfless, trusting giving that happened last night happened JUST for Ariel's care.
It happened for that, yes, and for a bigger purpose as well.
It happened because many who have not yet come to Jesus are watching and listening.
They are seeing this unusual behavior . . . they are taking note that in a skeptical world where each person has to guard his pennies and check out every "worthy cause" to make sure it isn't a scam, sons and daughters of The Savior of the World just gave open handedly to a handsome stranger who had a need.

And that, my friends, speaks VOLUMES to the lost.  In this tough economy. In this cynical time.

That is how "salty ones" are set apart and make HIS name great.


"YOU are the salt of Earth . . . . YOU are the light of the world. A city on a hill that can
not be hidden . . .in the same way, let your light shine before others that they may see your good works and glorify your father in Heaven."  Matthew 5:13-16

And THIS is how the body of Christ is to love :
" . . . not just with words or speech but with ACTIONS and in truth."

So there, you have it.
Faithful God using a difficult situation to call his children "out of the saltshaker" and make his presence known. 

And that is why being "salty"  is a great honor.  And a humbling privilege.


Thank You.

The Beauty of Three

It is a day for celebration in our busy household!

Today marks three years since our amazing, beautiful wonder-baby, Ezekiel, joined our family and brought us the kind of light and joy that came unexpected and welcome . . .

"Gotcha Day" . . . March 8th, 2010

But his story started long before he made his way down the jetway and into my arms.

Long before . . .

Ezekiel's birth mother had no idea the baby she carried was a child with Down Syndrome. After his birth, she was still unaware. It was not until Ezekiel was two months old and birthmom took him to a clinic for a check up that a doctor shared the news that devastated her and thrust my precious baby into orphanhood.   She was told he had not only Down Syndrome but a heart defect.  For a single mother with another child,  and an ill-paying job, she  knew that a diagnosis like this would be expensive and she could not provide.  So she did an extraordinarily unselfish deed.
She took him to an orphanage nearby in hopes that the people there could afford to fix his heart and find him a family.
But they said "no".
They, too, realized that a child with Down Syndrome is expensive to care for.
And hard to place.
So she journeyed on to try another orphanage and came to Gentle Hands.
She met a woman named Charity, the director. A woman who knows the value of EVERY LIFE . . .
And she said "yes".

This is one of the last photos of birthmom holding Ezekiel on Surrender Day.

This was taken at the orphanage. 

Ezekiel was lovingly cared for and given medications and check-ups at GH. He was mothered by
a woman named Thelma who gave him her heart, knowing it was just a loan . . .

Ezekiel and Thelma 

 Ezekiel grew and thrived at Gentle Hands for more than two years!

He was their first child with Down Syndrome, but would not be their last.  I have a feeling they
learned from Ezekiel the same thing we learned.  Children with Down Syndrome are set apart. They bring unspeakable joy and an adjusting of perspective to all who are lucky enough to know them.

Ezekiel and Charity . . . the one who said "yes" . . .

And this is the very picture we saw  that made our hearts leap for joy because we knew THIS was one of OUR children!  So with the help of many, especially the group started by a precious lady called "Friends of Ezekiel", the concerted effort to bring him home to us met with success!

This is the family that God chose to bless with Ezekiel. 

The brothers who protect him. . .

The people who cherish him . . .

The mother who would do anything for him . . .

The Kuya who adores him . . .

The Ate who takes such good care of him . . .

And the father who let faith triumph over fear to bring home a son who would always be with us . . . 

I can say with complete confidence that in the three years since Ezekiel has been ours, there has not been one regret!  He fits into this family like he has always been here. I have often wondered if God miraculously changed his DNA to mine and his father's.  But I would never want that.
I wouldn't  change one thing about this boy's journey to our family.
Every life he touched needed touching.
Every heart he held needed holding.
Every sacrifice made for him needed making.

It is my heartfelt prayer at this three-years-home celebration that even one mother who has received a Down Syndrome diagnosis for her baby might stumble upon my blog.  She might consider the cost and know the JOY and choose LIFE . . .

Maybe she is afraid that this life will be burdensome.  Possibly someone in a white coat has talked of the heart defects, low intellect and lifetime dependence and she feels trapped.  I won't lie to her and tell her it is exactly the same as parenting a typically-developing child.  There are differences.
But they are not burdens.
They are privileges.

Happy three-years home to my little grace gift . . .

Made in the image of a Holy God . . .

Today

Moving to Move

Today we received a rare Saturday gift from above . . . .
a snow day!!!

I realize to those of you living in the Northeast, Northwest and other places arctic, this amount of snow is nothing more than a small annoyance but to us, here in the South, it's a HUGE event! Sports  are canceled!  Some stores don't open! Plans change and people of all ages rush to the grocery store to buy up  the bread and milk for fear they may be stranded for TWO WHOLE DAYS!

So we stayed home.

But with the Big Move to The Philippines looming, we could not afford to snuggle and drink hot chocolate.  We had to get some work done on this beloved home so we can put her on the market.

Dad and Lem sand and paint the banister 

Aaron paints closet doors

Francis sands and paints closet trim

Ky keeps our busy little Ezekiel occupied and away from the paint, tools, and other dangers while we work

Elliana hides out with her computer so as not to attract attention and be given a task . . . ha ha . . .

And there's nothing like a mess of a house filled with tarps, brushes, drills and boxes to light a fire in my heart for the change that is on the horizon. Kind of how the smell of jet fuel at the airport makes me long to go somewhere, anywhere, even if I'm just there to pick up a friend.

It's all so very real to me today.  And I'm filled with the kind of anticipation I feel before we meet one of our children for the first time.  His peace is present on what should be an absolutely daunting and terrifying dimly-lit path.

My heart says "bring it on" and my brain says "you have no idea what you're getting into".

And they are both right  but my spirit says "trust Him who has already done immeasurably more than all you have asked or imagined". . . and I say "yes".

Maybe I'm living in a fantasy world? The project sending us is not fully funded. I hate to fly. We are living out our last weeks in this country without a church family. My husband has no paying job right now.
There are still a million and one tasks before us and we have just signed a lease on our home in The Philippines.   Shouldn't I be afraid?    Worrying?  Stressing out?  Looking with natural eyes and declaring it can not be done? That it's too much work?

To each one of those "negatives" listed above, my Father has already answered and provided!
He is working, even now, on every angle and He who has called is faithful.

Always has been.

Always will be.

And His beautiful word rings truth to my heart and wraps me in the knowledge that what might look disjointed, ill-timed or chaotic to the casual observer is the fulfillment of His plan and purpose in ways that we did not expect.


"His sovereignty rules over all" Psalm 103:19

Words to live by.   Words to move by . . . 

Little Sadnesses, Bigger Joys

I'm have so many conflicting thoughts I want to organize into a cogent post. This may not be the one . . . .

I think of a hundred amazing observations I can't wait to share on my blog - when I'm behind the wheel of my car or sitting in the dentist's chair with a sucky straw hanging from the corner of my mouth,  or up to my elbows in ground beef making dinner for this hungry herd.

Oh, yes, the things I want to share with all of you . . .


There are small things like:
I grew up believing that slim jims were encased in sheep intestine and only recently found out they aren't. They are edible collagen casings.
OR
When tracking our progress on the C25K app, my friend and I discovered we cover just about as much ground walking as we do running.  We are either painfully slow runners or lightening-fast walkers. I prefer the latter.

There are big thing like:
We are just a couple of months away from full-time mission service in The Philippines and my heart is ready but my house is not.  Deciding what to keep, store, sell and give away is not a simple task.
OR
We are heartbroken over recently having to leave a church we have loved for years. But we had to in order to be true to our convictions and to send a strong message to our children.  And I feel like the sadness just sticks around like an heirloom necklace - too valuable to put in some box but too ugly to wear...

I feel blessed and lucky but also overwhelmed and inadequate.
 Aren't we all those things much of the time?  

So with all the jumbled-up, frenetic, impossible-to-ignoredness, I go to where I am grounded and sure.  The Word.

And I see comforts like:
"Never will I leave you. Never will I forsake you". Hebrews 13:5
OR
"The blessing of the Lord makes one rich and He adds no sorrow with it." Proverbs 10:22
OR
"And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16


So I am struck by the notion that all the things I want to share don't amount to much unless they exhort, encourage and point to the Lover of My Soul.

And the sadness and heartache over the temporary are inevitable but shrink to smallness when held up next to the everlasting Word.   I can not fathom walking life's road without knowing My Savior. How do people cope? Where do they turn for steadfast guidance? Comfort? Help in times of trouble?

To Oprah? Dr. Phil? A therapist? A friend equally lost?  A bottle? Workaholism?

So, this little stream of consciousness might read a bit flighty because that's how I'm feeling as of late.  But it all comes full circle to the one who holds me close in times of clarity and times of confusion - and teaches me that the "big picture" is not something I always have to understand up front.  

And I'm happy to rest in Him and not "advise" Him as I am so prone to do.

He is doing fine without my advice and I am learning to be led.

Through little sadnesses . . . and bigger joys . . .

A Trip in Pictures

I have wanted so badly to share all that is going on with my husband and older children on this trip to The Philippines!  There has been awesome ministry, times of rest and relaxation, visits with family and friends and time with our sweet Ariel that all bear sharing.   I want to tell you EVERYTHING, precious readers, but after suffering for 9 days with the flu, my creative genius appears to be on hiatus . . . I am having a hard time  organizing my thoughts into words that might do this trip justice. So I've decided to share "A Trip in Pictures" with you instead.

Please note that due to the Hague regulations, I am not able to share ANY specifics online about the children the team was blessed to work with. I can't share their names or locations online. We have to honor the rules of the Hague for both the safety of the children and the integrity of the project. I know you understand!

Manila traffic is unbelievable, day and night, and deserves a mention!

My family used the jeepney (above) and trike (below) as a way to get around town on this trip...inexpensive and efficient!

A little "chill time" in the hotel was always welcome at the end of a long, hot day.

Lunch with Sharon (back r), Ariel (orange shirt) and friends makes the trip so much fun!

Ariel (Lem's bio brother) skyping with us from the family' hotel room.  Brothers need to stay in touch. For both of them, a lot is at stake in this relationship. Blood ties are so important! 

These little cones are a family tradition! You get to pick five different flavors of mini cone. I don't know why someone in the US hasn't started a business like this! These are so good!

Having his mini cones . . .

This beautiful girl has visual impairment but can track light! She IS light  .  . . so lovely!!!

This sweet boy is shy and cooperative . . .he has partial sight  but such a severely crossed eye.  And the surgery he needs is literally a 30 minutes out patient procedure here in the US. 

The spot on this gorgeous girl's eye will be evaluated by our trustworthy doctor. Please pray that it is benign and cosmetic.  We want so much to be able to deliver good news to her wonderful children's home!

This gorgeous angel is not visually impaired but hearing impaired. Her orphanage staff lovingly brought her to our team asking us to PLEASE find her some hearing aids.  This is not the work we set out to do but who can say "no" to this beautiful girl?  If any reader knows how to get some child-sized hearing aids, we're "all ears" . . . we want so much to help her!!!

This 16 year old boy has cerebral palsy and visual impairment.  He worked SO hard to impress our team with his shape sorting skills, never losing that big smile or that determination.  This child is worth investing in. Yes, he's "older", yes, he's considerably disabled but YES, he is a precious human made in the image of God.  He deserves to have someone cheering him on at even the smallest gain. 

This trip only further ignites the fire in our family that we NEED to relocate as soon as possible!
Please pray for a speedy sale of our home and for the pieces to fall into place.
We are still in need of monthly donors to make this move possible.  Won't you consider donating $25 per month so we can go?    I'm not so good at "asking for stuff" but for these children and the many others who wait in their orphanages for someone to come alongside them, take up their cause and shine a spotlight into the darkness, I'm not afraid to ask.  In fact, it's my honor.

For HIS Fame,

Nikki
The Bartimaeus Project
www.bartimaeusproject.org