Sick

Today, I am sick and had to stay home from church. I really hate  missing church! I kept Ezekiel home with me since he's still a "nursery baby" and won't be missing any teaching.  The most ridiculous thing about this whole situation is that I made MYSELF sick!  I knowingly ate undercooked meat when I was preparing tacos for the family (and a couple of friends) on Friday night.  I picked a nice, brown hunk of meat from the pan to "test" it and as soon as I bit in, I KNEW I was in trouble. The meat was totally raw in the middle- it was STILL COLD (ewwww). I woke Saturday morning with a raging headache and other symptoms that, shall we say, are common with food poisoning but not great blog material!  Last night I tossed and turned with muscle aches and stomach cramps.  I have learned my lesson!  NO RAW HAMBURGER -EVER!  Although this Sunday morning finds me feeling weak and still slightly achy, I am going to set this computer aside and spend some time with my sweet baby - just him and me.   It's a rare treat when you have a larger family to spend time with just one child and I don't want to miss it!  I guess I'm off to hold my boy and watch "Choo Choo Soul".   It's all I have the energy for right now but I'm sure he won't mind.  

Have a blessed Sunday!

Logical Nonsense

This morning, God woke me up at 4am and I was overwhelmed with the urge to pray. I prayed for my children, for Francis and our adoption efforts and, of course, for Davids in Latvia. I awoke to the WONDERFUL news that Davids has a family!!! The family is already in the process of adopting another child from Davids' country and country rules allow for simultaneous adoptions.  The family is experienced in adoption and have some background in Davids' country.  It sounds perfect! The only drawback is that this family is saddled with paying for two adoptions at the same time.  As a family who has adopted twice only one year apart, we know the challenges that presents but two at ONCE????? WOW!  I was excited to discover that Project Hopeful is managing an account for Davids' adoption  and donating is easy.  I shared this news with my husband this morning as he has been praying for Davids with me.  My husband said, without hesitation, "Let's donate". 
My first reaction was to say "uh . . .have you forgotten we're bringing home our OWN about-to-age-out teen from overseas" but that is NOT what I said.  I was immediately overcome with love for this man that God has given me with his heart for the fatherless and his bent toward serving others.  I know it sounds completely illogical to donate to another family's adoption when we ourselves are working double time to pay for our own!
My husband reminded me that he has just completed a large photography job and the proceeds from that job were not earmarked yet. He wanted to give from his own overtime to this young man's adoptive family.
Just this last Sunday, our pastor at Potter's Hand preached an amazing message on "Radical Hope". In that message, he talked about God's economy being completely opposite of man's economy.  Man says "if you're feeling burned out, take some 'me' time" while God's economy says "if you're feeling burned out, find someone who needs to be served and serve."  Man's economy says "hoard your wealth, take care of #1 and give only out of your surplus" while God's economy says "the widow who gave two pennies gave more than all the wealthy because she gave out of her NEED." 
You can hear the complete sermon (it's from 1/9) athttp://podcast.theundilutedtruth.com/
So we gave.  Not from any donations we have received from others but from my husband's extra photography business income that yes, could have gone to our own adoption but the need for Davids is NOW.  Francis has just a little more time.
If you are feeling led to give to Davids' adoption fund, go to www.projecthopeful.org and click on their
blog. 
I am eager to see how God will map out all of these adoptions, all of the giving and the receiving.
There is NO LIMIT to His resources and, in that, we rest wholeheartedly!

Update on Davids / Keep Praying . . .

I just received some promising news regarding the young man in Latvia discussed in my previous blog entry.
There are two families on the horizon who are interested in adopting him! Both families MUST meet the criteria set forth by the Latvian government and the families must quickly be able to file immigration paperwork.
You would think with such a time crunch, countries would make exceptions to their own rules but this is rarely the case. Most of the rules governing adoptions really ARE put in place to protect the children. To bend these rules may mean endangering children so, for that reason, I am thankful for the rules in place. Please pray not only for the adoption of Davids but for him to go to a family where he will be a cherished family member. Pray that the family does not view themselves as rescuers but as "lottery winners" who were hand-picked by God to receive the grand prize - a human life!

Broken and Spilled Out

I just finished posting a story on my facebook account that has absolutely devastated me.  A Latvian teenager named Davids was set to be adopted by an American family he met on a hosting program. The family committed to him and he was elated! The family ended up changing their minds about this young man leaving him with only TWO WEEKS until he ages out and is no longer adoptable!  (You can read the story and see pictures of this handsome young man at:  
http://www.givenmuchmom.com/
Get a tissue and prepare to have your heart broken!  Please join me in praying for a family for Davids.

As a family who has committed to a child ready to "age out", I can not imagine what series of events led the family to pull out of this adoption.  I don't stand in judgment of the adoptive family, I'm sure it was a painful decision but the article on the blog I linked above states that the family changed their minds in favor of adopting a girl they had met earlier than Davids. Now they had already told Davids he had a family! The family had begun the process.   I am going to ask a very cynical question that may anger some readers.   WHY SO MANY GIRLS?  If you ask any adoption professional, they will tell you that girls are preferred over boys by a HUGE margin the adoptive world. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter. I know that it's a privilege to mother a daughter but when a story like this comes to light, it just makes me wonder why the preference for girls is so strong.  Yes, orphaned girls need homes, too. I know this but boys wait exponentially longer than girls to find a family in almost every country (other than China) and I am utterly confused by this.  I am asking the question in earnest, not in a rhetorical way that is loaded with
accusation.  I really DO want to know why girls seem to be in such high demand?
Bride of Christ, let me ask you this:  if we took on multitudes of orphaned young men and helped shape and guide them into productive, woman-protecting, responsible, law-abiding followers of Christ, can you imagine what the world would look like?   Instead, the orphaned and unadopted young men often become criminals, prostitutes, abusers and soul-wounders to those in their paths.  The rate of suicide among unadopted orphans has been estimated at 10%-38% depending on the country they live in and the rate for unadopted males is double that of unadopted females (according to several online sources I will link to in my next post). 
By all means, if God  is leading you to rescue little girls, do it!  But please consider, if you are praying about adoption, not letting fear keep you from a deserving young man.  Not all boys molest. Not all boys are violent.  Not all boys rebel. Some do.   So do girls.  In short,  ask God to show you where the greatest need lies and to help you lay down your fantasies about adoption. Ask Him to lead you to a child that needs YOU rather than to give you a child that fits perfectly into the age or gender "hole" in your family. 
I am sure this post is going to prompt some readers to ask for their donations to be returned (ha ha) but I hope not!  If just one little boy can wait just a little less because ONE adoptive family set aside their fear, I consider it worthwhile and a tribute to boys like Davids and my Francis, who waited too long.

Crumbs in the Butter (or "Confessions of a Fool")

I am not a person who is given to depression. I am thankful for this fact as I have dear Believing friends who struggle mightily to keep a positive perspective and I have seen first hand how relentlessly feeling "down" can take it's toll on a person and all those around her.  The last few days, though, I have struggled. Combine the post-holiday blues with the fact that our adoption process is slowing down (waiting on an updated psyche evaluation on Francis before we can have his legal documents to file for immigration) and then add in the realization that we still have plenty of work to do for said adoption and, I'm overwhelmed. How do I know I'm overwhelmed? Because yesterday I made banana bread and when I went to serve it, I noticed there were toast crumbs in the butter and I started to cry!!!Does that not rank among the dumbest reasons to cry you've ever heard of??  I am living proof that adoption and pregnancy have an almost identical effect on the human psyche.
Somebody come and study me!!
In any case, today is a bright, new day and I am awash with gratefulness.  In the words of one of my precious facebook friends, I am CHOOSING to be grateful.  I made a mental list of my blessings and have resolved to count them anytime I feel my throat constricting and eyes welling over something as painful as crumb-laden butter!  I thanked my Heavenly Father for who He is, what He has done and all He has given me before my feet hit the floor this morning and what a difference that mindset makes!
I hope that I am not the only person who has "lost it" over minutia. I KNOW I'm not the only person who has discovered that the key to "getting my heart right" is counting my blessings.
We attend a church that relies on contemporary music for worship time and I really do love it but the old hymn of my childhood "Count Your Blessings" has been my song of choice today.  I love the verse that says:

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,
when you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
count your many blessings-name them one by one,
and it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

I couldn't have said it better myself!  Let's get counting . . .

Still Counting . . .

Green is Better Than Pink

My family just returned home from another Christmas celebration. We spent time with my parents, my brother and his family and saw my precious 90-year-old grandmother. It was wonderful. I returned home with a sigh when I remembered I hadn't cleaned the house before we left - back to reality!  I grabbed an enormous stack of mail from the mailbox and decided to sort it before cleaning and putting away the items from our trip.  Immediately an envelope from "US Immigration" caught my eye and made my heart pound! I grabbed the envelope and noticed the paper inside was GREEN and not PINK. A pink slip from USCIS is usually not good news. It's generally a request for more information or a reminder that you have somehow forgotten a needed document. This slip of paper was definitely green - good stuff! I quickly opened the envelope and discovered it was a notice of the upcoming appointment that my husband and I must keep to have our fingerprints renewed!! This is a nice big step in the adoption process and I immediately went from "mom who is grouchy about housework" to "adoptive mom who is getting closer to her new son."    It's curious how one little envelope can so greatly effect the mood!  I skipped over to write the date and time on our calendar and began to work on the chores with a renewed sense of purpose.
I've always said that orange is my favorite color but for now, I think I'm changing it to green!!!!!

Christmas Musings

Christmas was fantastic and, I must say, much more low key than in years past. My husbands mom, step dad, brother, aunt and a few friends came to Christmas Eve dinner, went to church with us and stayed to watch our children open gifts. It was relaxing and wonderful! My mother in law cooked lumpia and a traditional Filipino dish called "dinuguan" which has the nickname "chocolate meat" in English. It is so named because the base of the stew is blood which is boiled until it turns dark brown, almost black. Now, before my American friends get all skeeved out and decide you'll never eat Filipino food, let me just tell you. This dish is DELICIOUS!
It has none of the properties of blood: no metallic flavor, it doesn't coagulate, it doesn't look, smell or taste like blood at all. It has pork, beef and green chilies in it and all of my children eat it readily (except my daughter who would be vegetarian if it weren't for bacon).

 For those less adventurous among you, let me recommend my mother in law's lumpia instead:

 This plate of lumpia was gone long before we sat down to the meal. As my MIL was pulling these from the pot, family members were waiting in line to snatch one!  They are filled with meat and veggies and I make a sauce to go in the middle that contains vinegar, soy sauce and minced garlic.  Oh, I could polish off this plate all by myself if it weren't for that awesome smell drawing the children to come and ask for some!

      I pray you are all as blessed as I am to be surrounded by loved ones and celebrating the greatest gift even given to humankind - Jesus Christ! 
Now, it's off to "other Grandma's" house to do it all over again!!!!!!

The Birthday Boy

Yesterday my amazing little wonder, Ezekiel, turned three years old! We had a get together with his uncle and grandparents (on Daddy's side) and our own immediate family so as not to overwhelm him. Ezekiel is still a very shy child and too much excitement causes him to want to be held by mom or dad and bury his face in our necks!
We wanted to be sure he enjoyed his day so we kept the celebration small and low key.
It was so much fun! His favorite gift, by far, was a little plastic vacuum that makes noise! Ezekiel loves it when I vacuum. He is always one step behind me and reaching out to touch the handle each time I pull it back. He claps and jumps up and down when I turn it on. He is smitten! I was worried that a quiet little duplicate vacuum just wouldn't measure up but he was thrilled! He immediately set off to "vacuum" the entire downstairs while the family and guests laughed at him. He proceeded to move furniture in order to vacuum underneath and to pick up toys to make sure he didn't miss any hidden crumbs. That child is just delightful to watch! I had no idea how much he took in and observed on the nuances of such a mundane task as vacuuming.
If I could do one thing differently regarding his birthday, I would have searched high and low to find a vacuum his size that ACTUALLY works! I can tell he is going to be a great helper in the very near future!

The File Has Left The Building

I am pleased to announce that the big, yellow DHL truck arrived at our agency over a week ago to pick up our COMPLETED dossier and deliver it to the adoption board in The Philippines!!!! For some of you adoptive parents, that may sound like we are very early on in the process but our situation is a little different than many. Because we are adopting a waiting child, things work backward. We identified the child, asked for him to be placed on hold for us and then worked overtime to get that dossier completed.
As soon as that dossier arrives in The Philippines and is approved by the ICAB, our referral will be issued, accepted and then the wait for a visa/medical appointment begins. We are actually on the shorter end of the wait now. I have already requested an extension on one of our immigration documents and having that happen simultaneous with the referral being issued and accepted may save some time.
We have received additional donations from precious Christian friends and now have over $4400 of our adoption paid for!!!! We wait
prayerfully to hear feedback on our grant applications.
An early April travel date is still in sight if all goes as projected. We are SO eager to meet Francis and introduce him to his new life. The silliest things come to mind and get me all giddy like the idea of helping him set up his facebook account to keep in touch with friends from The Philippines, or taking him shoe shopping and seeing if I'll have to pretend to like what he chooses, or Anthony teaching him how to use the riding mower and soon, to drive a car (gulp)... small things that happen here with the other children and signify that we're family.
All my prayers for this adoption center around him having a smooth transition and knowing right away that he is loved and wanted. Because he is already 15, I know we'll have to be very purposeful in our bonding and willing to accept him for who he is - a teenager with his own set of ideas, likes and dislikes, preferences and preconceived notions. I pray that he'll be able to accept us as we are and find his place with us quickly. Above all, I pray that he'll get to know Jesus in a way
he never expected and grow in his faith. I can't wait to see it all unfold . . .

Yes and No

On the adoption front, all is quiet. Our file is in The Philippines and we are hoping for the official referral in the next week. If nothing arrives at our agency by December 16th, it will not happen until the new year. Believe it or not, I am perfectly fine with waiting. I have complete confidence in this process and I know that a slow down in one area can often be offset by surprisingly fast progress in another. On the fund raising front, all is quiet as well. We heard from the granting organization that was to review our application in December. They will now present us to their board in January. Again, OK by me. We have paid all we are required to pay up to this point (well over $4000) and we trust the Lord to provide for our needs in His own time.
A funny development is taking place in our home presently. Ezekiel, thanks to his dynamic speech and developmental therapists, has mastered the difference between and the uses for "yes" and "no". He nods his head "yes" and makes an adorable sound when presented with something he wants such as ice cream, a cartoon or a new toy. On the other hand, he shakes his head vigorously and makes a not-so-adorable sound to indicate "no". We are finding he is much fonder of "no" than he is of "yes". When he sees me coming toward him with a tissue to wipe his nose, the "nos" start to fly. When I say "it's time for night night", that head starts to shake for all he's worth! I have to confess that while toddlers saying "no" to their parents is not cute in any other situation, it is darn cute when Ezekiel does it!
I am so thrilled that he is using these words/gestures in the right context and he absolutely understands what he is saying. I am relieved that he can share his opinion and makes his needs known more easily. This is one of the many aspects of parenting I took for granted with my typically developing children. I have read the blogs of other parents of children with Down Syndrome and sometimes thought their celebrations of such small victories were a little over blown, a little sappy. I get it now! Boy, do I ever get it!

Final

"I never knew how much I wanted a baby with Down Syndrome until I adopted one."

Yesterday we received our finalization papers for Ezekiel's adoption in the mail!
A weight has been lifted that I didn't even realize I was carrying. The finalization paper is an official court document embossed with a couple of seals and containing lots of "legalese". I am no lawyer - not even a paralegal - but I can read and understand the words "adopted FOR LIFE" easily!!!! In the eyes of the court system, Ezekiel is what I already knew he was - mine forever. My mind goes back to just nine months ago when I sat in front of my computer screen pining away for the beautiful little boy in the picture. I wanted to feel his warmth, hear his voice and tuck him in... I wondered if it would ever happen. I believed God was showing me that it WOULD but I worried that I was projecting what I wanted and not clearly hearing God's voice (not audibly, of course). I sinned with my worry. I worried the money would not come in on time. I worried the plane would crash. I worried Ezekiel would reject us. I worried his heart disease would take him before we got to hold him. Even in my faithlessness, God was faithful. He always is. He always will be. I belong to Him and He is my precious Daddy. I am "adopted for LIFE."